Ayrton Oneill
Boat-related jokes are a fun pastime for many, and there are plenty of jokes, puns, and stories about boats that you can share with your friends and family. For example, one joke asks, What did the boat say at the funeral? with the punchline being My gondolences. Another joke involves a group of friends on a boat in Munich when the hull is breached, and they call for help in German, only to be asked by the German Life Guard, Ja, vat are you sinking about? Boat jokes often involve wordplay, such as What do you call an android designed to move a small wooden boat? A row-bot. or What did Gotye say after he sold his boat? Now you're just some boat that I used to row. Whether it's a play on words or a humorous story, boat jokes offer a lighthearted way to bring laughter to any boat ride.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Number of people involved | 3 |
| Setting | On a boat |
| Props | Cigarettes |
| Theme | Friendship, humour |
| Joke type | One-liner, pun |
| Style | Conversational |
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What You'll Learn
Boat jokes
Why did the boat need a doctor? Because it was feeling a little under the weather!
What did the boat say at the funeral? "My gondolences."
What did Gotye say after he sold his boat? "Now you're just some boat I used to know."
What did the sailor say when his crew was finally ready to set sail? "It's about time!"
What do you call an android designed to move a small wooden boat? A row-bot!
What is the name of the captain of a boat made of cork? Bobby.
What do you call it when one boat follows another boat too closely? Sailgating.
A group of friends were on a boat in Munich when the hull was breached. They quickly called for the German Life Guard, yelling, "Help! We're sinking!" The Life Guard asked, "Ja, what are you sinking about?"
A man was on his boat, fishing in a pond, and caught way over the bag limit. As he was heading back, the game warden stopped him and asked to check what he had caught. The warden told the man he had too many fish and that he was going to cite him. The fisherman said, "No, you see, these are my pet fish. I didn't catch them, I called them to me."
If you're ever lost at sea, just remember: keep calm and sail on!
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Boat riddles
Boat-related jokes and riddles are a fun way to keep yourself entertained, especially if you're on a boat ride. Here are some riddles with a boat theme to get you started:
Riddle 1: Where did the flying boat land?
Answer: At the air-port.
Riddle 2: What kind of sale was happening at the boat store?
Answer: A two-for-one sail.
Riddle 3: What did the boat say at the funeral?
Answer: My gondolences.
Riddle 4: What do you call it when one boat follows another boat too closely?
Answer: Sailgating.
Riddle 5: How do you get fresh milk from a boat?
Answer: By pulling on its rudder.
Riddle 6: What is the name of the most joyful ship?
Answer: The laughter-ship.
Of course, there are many other boat-related jokes and riddles that can be told. For instance, consider this longer joke:
A group of friends were on a boat in Munich when the hull was breached. They quickly called for the German Life Guard, yelling, "Help, we're sinking!" The Life Guard asked, "Ja, vat are you sinking about?"
Or this riddle: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Answer: Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels!
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Boat puns
Boats and sailing are a great source of humour, and there are plenty of jokes and puns to keep you laughing. Here is a selection of boat-themed jokes to keep you entertained:
The Captain's Safe
One day, the captain died at sea. After laying the captain to rest, the first mate gathered the crew and opened the captain's safe. Inside was an envelope with a note inside. The first mate read the note, which had just four words: "Starboard, right. To the doc!".
The German Life Guard
A group of friends were on a boat in Munich when the hull was breached and the boat began to sink. They called out for help to the German Life Guard, who asked them, "Ja, vat are you sinking about?".
The Pet Fish
A man was fishing in a pond and caught way over the bag limit. As he headed back, a game warden stopped him and checked his cooler. Seeing he had surpassed the limit, the warden told the man he was going to be fined. The man replied, "No, you don't understand, these are my pet fish. I didn't catch them, I called them to me". The warden didn't believe him, so the man said he would prove it.
The Cigarette Lighter
Three guys were on a boat and wanted to smoke, but they had no lighter. They only had four cigarettes, so they threw one cigarette overboard. Suddenly, the whole boat became a cigarette lighter.
The Blonde in the Field
A blonde was driving and saw another blonde in a field, trying to row a boat. The first blonde pulled over and shouted, "It's blondes like you that give us a bad name! If I could swim, I'd come over there and drown you!".
The Stutterer's Scream
A group of friends, including a stutterer, went fishing on a boat. Suddenly, the stutterer started screaming "Sh-sh-sh-sh-sh!". The others didn't understand, but then they heard something. It was the sound of a motor, and they just managed to get out of the way of an oncoming speedboat.
The Sailors' Nuts
A group of sailors saw some women in bikinis on the beach. One sailor said, "Hey, show them gals your nuts!". His friend asked, "Really?". "Really," the first sailor replied. So, the buddy gathered some nuts and threw them at the women. The women, of course, were furious.
The Skipper's Search
A skipper was looking for crew members and was directed to a building with five floors. He was told that each floor had a different crew. On the first floor, a sign read, "All the crew here are beginners". On the second, "All the crew here are experienced, smart but weak". On the third, "All the crew here are experienced, smart, and strong". Still not satisfied, the skipper went to the fourth floor, where he found his perfect crew.
The Doctor, Dentist, and Lawyer
A doctor, a dentist, and a lawyer were in a boat together when a wave washed them overboard. Unable to get back in, they decided two would hold the boat while the third swam for help. However, they noticed hundreds of sharks between them and the shore. Without a word, the lawyer took off swimming. As he swam, the sharks moved aside, out of his way.
The Cork Captain
What do you call the captain of a boat made of cork? Bobby.
The Boat's Rudder
How do you get fresh milk from a boat? By pulling on its rudder.
The Boat's Departure
What did the empty boat say when asked why it wasn't leaving the dock? "I haven't got a crew".
The Deck and the Waves
What did the deck say to the waves that came crashing on board? "Water you doing here?".
These jokes and puns are sure to bring a smile to your face and add a bit of levity to any boat ride or sailing adventure.
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Boat one-liners
- What did the boat say at the funeral? "My gondolences."
- What did Gotye say after he sold his boat? "Now you're just some boat that I used to row."
- What kind of sale was happening at the boat store? A two-for-one sail.
- What do you call an android that was designed to move a small wooden boat around? A row-bot.
- What did the sailor say when his crew was finally ready to set sail? "It’s about time!"
- What did the empty boat say when asked why it wasn't leaving the dock? "I haven’t got a crew."
And here are some longer jokes to keep you laughing:
A group of friends were on a boat in Munich when the hull was breached. They quickly called for the German Life Guard, yelling, "Help, we're sinking!" The Life Guard asked, "Ja, vat are you sinking about?"
A guy was fishing in a pond and caught way over the bag limit. As he was heading back, the game warden stopped him and checked his cooler. The warden told the man he had too many fish and would have to cite him. The fishermen said, "No, you see, these are my pet fish. I didn't catch them, I called them to me." The warden didn't believe him, so the fishermen said he would show him. He threw a fish into the water and called out, "Here, Fishy, Fishy!" Sure enough, the fish jumped out of the water. The warden said, "Okay, that's enough. I believe you."
After an early start of drinking, one guy announces to the other, "Time to break the seal. You don't mind if I just take a piss off the side of the boat, do ya?" The other guy says, "No problem. Want me to hold your rod while you go?" They realise they are stuck in the middle of the sea without a lighter. One of them proposes a solution: "I will throw one cigarette out of the boat into the water." Thus, making the boat a cigarette lighter.
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Boat stories
Boats and water-based activities are a great source of humour, with many jokes, puns, and stories centred around them. These jokes often rely on wordplay, such as "What do you call an android that was designed to move a small wooden boat around? A row-bot" or "Where did the flying boat land? At the air-port". Some jokes play on the idea of being "lost at sea", such as the one about a stutterer who goes fishing with his friends and suddenly starts shouting "sh-sh-sh-sh-sh!" frantically, causing panic on the boat.
There are also stories that involve boats and clever wordplay. One such story is about a skipper who finds himself lost at sea and radios for help. Another skipper responds and provides a very detailed and technically accurate description of the lost skipper's location, including latitude and longitude coordinates. However, the lost skipper is frustrated and confused by this response, as it doesn't help him understand how to get back to shore. He then reveals his political affiliation, saying, "You must be a labour voter," to which the other skipper agrees, noting that the lost skipper doesn't know where he is or how to get to his destination.
Boats and water-related activities also lend themselves to more extended stories and anecdotes. One such story involves a group of friends on a boat in Munich when the hull is breached, and they start sinking. They call for help from the German Life Guard, who asks, "Ja, vat are you sinking about?" Another story involves a fisherman who is caught with more fish than the bag limit by a game warden. The fisherman claims that the fish are his pets, and he "called them to him," much to the warden's disbelief.
Boating and sailing terms also provide a rich source of humour in stories and jokes. For example, a joke about a sailor who needs to find a tie to enter a club ends with the punchline, "OK, you can come in, just don't start anything," playing on the term "start" which means beginning to move a boat by releasing or raising the anchor. Similarly, a joke about a boat funeral has the boat saying, "My gondolences," a play on the word "condolences".
Overall, boats and water-based activities provide a wealth of opportunities for humour, from quick puns and one-liners to more extended stories and anecdotes. These jokes often rely on wordplay, double meanings, and a shared understanding of boating culture and terminology.
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Frequently asked questions
My gondolences.
Bobby.
Sailgating.
By pulling on its rudder.
The laughter-ship.
