Ayrton Oneill
Boat rides can be a fun pastime, but they can also be the source of some hilarious jokes. From stutterers screaming sh-sh-sh-sh-sh to whales tipping over boats with their blowholes, there's no shortage of laughter to be had when it comes to boat-related humour. Whether it's a simple pun or a more elaborate story, boat jokes are sure to bring a smile to your face and brighten your day. So, the next time you're feeling a little seasick, why not try telling a boat joke instead?
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Number of characters | 2 |
| Setting | Ocean |
| Characters | Two whales |
| Joke | The two whales swim under a boat and blow air to make it capsize |
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What You'll Learn
Two whales tip over a whaling ship
Two whales are swimming in the ocean when they come upon a whaling ship. One whale says to the other, "That's the ship that killed my brother!" The other whale asks, "What do you want to do?" The first whale says, "Let's swim under the boat and blow air to make the boat capsize!" The other whale agrees, so they dive under the boat, blow air and the boat flips.
"Hahaha that was great!" says the first whale. "Hey, you know what would be even funnier?" asks the second whale. "If we went under another whaling ship and tipped it over with our blowholes!" "Haha yeah, let's do it!" says the first whale. So the two whales swim under another whaling ship, blow their blowholes and tip it over.
The two whales swim away, feeling satisfied with their revenge. But little do they know, the whalers on the ship are now stranded in the ocean, clinging to the overturned boat. The whalers are furious and vow to take their revenge on the whales.
The next day, the two whales are swimming along when they suddenly feel a sharp pain in their sides. They have been hit by harpoons! They try to swim away, but it's too late. The whalers have caught up with them and are now pulling them onto another whaling ship. The two whales struggle but are eventually hauled onto the deck, where they are slaughtered and turned into oil.
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Two smokers are stuck in the middle of the sea without a lighter
The first smoker is confused, but the second smoker tells him to observe. So, the first smoker watches as the second smoker throws a cigarette into the water.
Suddenly, a huge fireball erupts from the water, and the boat is engulfed in flames. "What the hell was that?" screams the first smoker. "Oh, sorry," says the second smoker, "I forgot to mention that I also poured a gallon of petrol into the water before throwing the cigarette."
The two smokers are now frantically trying to put out the fire, but it's too late. The boat is completely destroyed, and they are left floating in the sea, clinging to the remains of their vessel. "I can't believe you did that!" shouts the first smoker. "I know, I know," says the second smoker, "but at least we have a lighter now."
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A stutterer screams while fishing with friends
A stutterer and his friends went fishing on a boat. Everything was going peacefully until the stutterer started screaming "sh-sh-sh-sh-sh... The others didn't understand what he was trying to say, but he screamed "sh-sh-sh-sh" louder. Then, they heard something. It was a whale! The whale said to its friend, "Do you want to have some fun? Let's swim under the boat and blow air to make the boat capsize!" The stutterer's friends thought it would be hilarious, so they agreed. The two whales dived under the boat, blew air, and the boat flipped. The stutterer and his friends were left in the water, laughing and screaming. "That was amazing!" shouted the stutterer. "Let's do it again!"
A stutterer and his friends were fishing on a boat when suddenly, the stutterer started screaming. "Wh-wh-wh-what's wrong?" asked his friends. "I-I-I-I j-j-just r-r-realised I f-f-forgot the b-b-bait!" said the stutterer. His friends laughed and reassured him that it was okay. They had plenty of bait and they were having a great time fishing. The stutterer relaxed and they continued their day of fishing.
A stutterer and his friends went on a boat ride. As they were sailing, the stutterer started screaming "W-w-w-watch out!" His friends looked around, confused. "Wh-wh-what are y-y-you screaming about?" they asked. "Th-th-there's a b-b-bird on the b-b-boat!" laughed the stutterer. His friends joined in on the laughter and they all enjoyed the rest of their boat ride.
A stutterer and his friends were fishing on a boat when suddenly, the stutterer started screaming. "Wh-wh-wh-what's wrong?" asked his friends. "I-I-I-I th-th-think I s-s-see a f-f-fish!" said the stutterer excitedly. His friends looked into the water and sure enough, they saw a big fish swimming by. They cast their lines and soon enough, they were reeling in their catch. "Th-th-that was amazing!" said the stutterer. "L-l-let's keep fishing!"
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Where did the flying boat land?
This joke plays on the double meaning of the word 'port'. A port is a place where boats dock, but it is also a synonym for 'harbour' or 'haven'. So, when we hear the word 'air-port', we might think of a place where planes land. But in this joke, the 'air-port' is a place where flying boats can land.
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What do you call an android designed to move a small wooden boat?
I couldn't find much information on the joke 'do you want to go for a boat ride', but I did find a similar joke: what do you call an android designed to move a small wooden boat? A row-bot.
Where did the flying boat land? At the air-port.
What kind of sale was happening at the boat store? A two-for-one sail.
What do you do with a sick boat? Take it to the doc.
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Frequently asked questions
Two whales are swimming in the ocean when they come upon a whaling ship. One whale asks the other: "Do you want to have some fun? Let's swim under the boat and blow air to make the boat capsize!" He agrees. So they dive under the boat, blow air and the boat flips.
After an early start of hitting the sauce, one guy announces to his friend, "time to break the seal. You don't mind if I just take a piss off the side of the boat, do ya?" His friend says, "no problem. Want me to hold your rod while you go?" They realise they are stuck in the middle of the sea without a lighter. Smoker 1: What are we gonna do? Smoker 2 proposes a solution, “I will throw one cigarette out of the boat into the water.” Smoker 1 is confused, and smoker 2 tells him to observe.
A stutterer goes fishing on a boat with his friends. While everything is going peacefully, he suddenly starts screaming "sh-sh-sh-sh-sh..." The others don't understand what he's trying to say, but he screams "sh-sh-sh-sh" louder. Then they hear something.
